sleepless night

I can't sleep.

You can count all the sheep you want, but it only makes it worse. The frustration starts getting to you and you want to punch yourself in the chin to knock yourself out.

$400 dollars was spent on kitchen supplies this evening. I really really need to start cooking and this is no joke. This will no longer be a way to flirt or whatever. This is serious business. I need to get good use out of these utensils. I want everything I bought to go with me when I move into a nicer place in the future. I want my great grandchildren to serve amazing meals to their grandchildren with these pots, pans and whatever else I was suggested to buy. I'm stoked about making pancakes Saturday morning for breakfast.

What's Eating Gilbert Grape is on in my room. It is a great movie if you haven't seen it. This is Leonardo DiCaprio's best movie he has and will ever do. Though, I really liked Basketball Diaries. Check that out too if you haven't.

I get weighed in tomorrow. I am 3 lbs. to my goal weight, of course I would love to surpass that, but that will motivate me even more. My body is being punished and going through withdraws of fried foods and pizza. It craves it. It tell me so. Yesterday I was running on my lunch break and nine inch nails track, Happiness in Slavery, came on. This song is brutal. Just watch the link below, especially towards the end when they destroy their equipment. But, during the breakdown of the song, about 2 and half minutes into it, while running I just start pounding my chest as hard as I can. I can't feel it because I am so amped. I want to karate kick trees that are by me. It is unbelievable and intense. What I'm doing is not self-infliction. It is just me being aggressive and pumped my body to work it up a few more notches. Well now of course now my right chest is kind of bruised. I need a chill pill.

Ok, enough of the random nonsense.

Back to my room to watch the end of WEGG and fall asleep to Leonardo DiCaprio wanting to have hot dogs at his birthday party.